Testimonials from the HIV Support Group

2008-01-08T11:00:00.000-08:00

Rudo:

My name is Rudo and I am 35 years old with 3 children. I first knew of my HIV status when my husband got ill. We both went for HIV testing and we were counseled and given our results. We were both found to be HIV positive. We decided not to tell anyone for fear of stigmatization or being ostracized. We did not even tell our three children because we felt it would be very stressful for them. My husband got worse and finally died last year (2003). His relatives insisted that I should be inherited by one of his brothers. This is when I decided to tell them I was HIV positive and that my husband died of AIDS. My in-laws started accusing me of having killed their son and they told me to leave the children behind as they belonged to the man. My in-laws even threatened to demand their roora (bride price) back. I came to stay with my sister in this part of New Mabvuku and she introduced me to her friend who is also HIV positive. My sister’s friend then told me about a local AIDS support group. I joined the group and have not regretted doing so since I have been advised through the support group on how to get back my property and custody of my children who are still young through the legal courts.

Lucia:

My name is Lucia (pseudonym). I am ten years old and I have two younger sisters (twins) who are eight years old. We also have an older brother who is 13 years old. Our parents are deceased. Our mother died after she had developed a lump in the armpit. Her breast was removed and she died after that. Our father started drinking too much until he became an alcoholic. He developed kidney problems. He was referred to Parirenyatwa for treatment but also died there. Our brother left home to look for a job. After both our parents died, we stayed with our aunt (widow of father’s young brother) from the extended family. Her husband died of AIDS long ago. She later died and we were told (by our relatives) to go to our deceased parents home where we are living alone. Our relatives say that our parents had AIDS and therefore cannot take us in for fear of us “rubbing off” the AIDS to them and their own children. My major problem is getting money to buy food. At times we get money from our cousin brothers from the extended family, we do not know where our brother is. Left all alone, I have assumed the role of head of household and this role is very difficult to play. The responsibility of having to provide for my sisters is proving to be difficult. It pains me because at night people come knocking on our door, when I ask who it is they just keep standing at the door and never tell us who they are. It’s frightful because they never talk but just stand in the doorway. The door doesn’t lock and it is easy for them to open it and walk in. Being the household head is too demanding for me. I would rather be playing with other children than thinking about what to eat everyday. We need someone to look after us.

Mary (pseudonym) is 16 years old and has three siblings to take care of. Her life story goes as follows:

Since my mother’s death there is no happiness in the family. There is always less and less food in our plates, sometimes we sleep on empty stomachs. My mother’s death was painful. When mum died, I knew then that I had to look after my siblings because my relatives do not want to help look after us. Fortunately we are going to school since social welfare pays our fees. It’s painful to be head of the household and taking care of my siblings. If only mum was still alive, we could be eating well. We need help from relatives so that when we go to school someone will be working in the fields and herding cattle. Life is just tough for us.

Tawanda (pseudonym) is a young boy of 12 years. His story is as follows:

When my mother got ill, she went to the hospital and she was told she had AIDS. When she told my father that she had AIDS, father went away to live with another woman. During the long period when mother was ill, father never came to give assistance. Only relatives were there to assist. Father only came to attend my mother’s funeral. After the funeral he left and never came back. During my mother’s illness, neighbors were very sympathetic and they even helped with financial, moral and social support. Now that mother is dead, I get very little assistance from relatives and neighbors. Life is very tough for me and most often I sleep on an empty stomach. My wish is to get a job and earn a living for myself.

Footsteps In Hope

Testimonials from the HIV Support Group